Military Humor

Simple yet eloquent statements:
>
>"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY."
>-Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
>
>"WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND."
>-US Marine Corps
>
>"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE
GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND."
>-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
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>"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU."
>-Infantry Journal
>
>"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN
>YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT
OF YOUR UNIT."
>-Army's magazine of prevention maintenance
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>"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU
>JUST BOMBED."
>-US. Air Force manual
>
>"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO."
>-Infantry Journal
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>"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS."
>-U.S. Army Ordnance
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>"FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS."
>-Infantry Journal
>
>"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID."
>-David Hackworth
>
>"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH."
-Infantry Journal
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>"NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION."
>-Joe Gay
>
>"ANY SHIP CAN BE A MINESWEEPER....ONCE."
>-Anon
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>"NEVER TELL THE PLATOON SERGEANT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO."
>-Unknown Marine Recruit
>
>"DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU."
>-Infantry Journal
>
>"IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP WITH HIM."
>-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop