Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Yojay is lazy, uninspired, and other criticisms.

In case you were wondering, this is crap:

We are going to lose our Web Candle + Monkey designation unless you fix this. Frankly, I'm embarrassed to be associated with this blog.

Monday, October 30, 2006

It seems Office Depot is a great place to work

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this article. Okay, maybe I was, a little bit, but not really. I was having a little fun with the search at jobsonline.net. Free sex has been determined as one of the most popular search terms on the 'net according to Google Trends, so I thought I'd give it a spin in another database. The really sad part is that I'm not even looking for a new job. However, it may pay to check out Office Depot after results like this:

We've found 28 Free Sex jobs in the Orlando area!

Below is a sample of the free sex job postings available near orlando, from all over the Internet!

Consultant, Service, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Store Support Manager - M2, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Customer Service Speclist CSS, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Product Solutions Manager, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Store Manager, Office Depot, Orlando, FL

To view all of the great free sex job opportunities available near orlando, complete your JobsOnline resume below.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Classic Walt Disney World Commercial (1971)

Whoa. This is creepy. I try not to throw that word around two much (okay, maybe every third article I write), but I cannot imagine that the world has changed that much in 35 years. Can you imagine some marketing executives dreaming up this TV spot and saying "this will really pull at the heart strings and create a call to action." More like "this will terrify children and and confuse adults who don't know what the Magic Kindom is."

AI Chat Bot -- jabberwacky

I love the concept of this AI chat bot. My favorite part is how "real" AI experts scoff at the idea of a chat bot that doesn't really think. Jabberwacky's success comes from building a massive database of responses and selecting the best one based on history. You know what? The website's description is much better:

It stores everything everyone has ever said, and finds the most appropriate thing to say using contextual pattern matching techniques. In speaking to you it uses only learnt material. With no hard-coded rules, it relies entirely on the principles of feedback. This is very different to the majority of chatbots, which are rule-bound and finite.

If you speak in a foreign language it will learn it, and respond appropriately if it has enough to go on. It can be taught slang English, word games, jokes and any other form of identifiable language trait.

Jabberwacky is NOT meant to learn logical statements, nor to perform mathematical tasks, to find web pages - or do anything 'useful'! Its role is simply to chat.

Intersting huh? Even better is jabberwacky learning that he doesn't actually exist:
jabberwacky: Interesting.
user: No.
jabberwacky: Well then tell me something interesting.
user: Ok, you do not think, therefore you are not.
jabberwacky: If I'm not, then who are you talking to?
user: Myself.
jabberwacky: And who would that be?
user: Me.
jabberwacky: Are you saying that you are the key to my reality?
user: Yes.

Wow. That's deep. Oh, and in case you were wonder, according to wikipedia, "Jabberwocky is ... generally considered to be one of the greatest nonsense poems written in the English language." That's crap. Everyone knows the best is Morgenstern's Das Nasob?m.

ABC News is Most Unbiased Source

Students at the University of Chicago conducted a study to determine the bias of media outlets. Not surprisingly, Fox News leans to the right, and the NY Times leans to the left. Wow. We needed a study to tell us that?

All kidding aside, I was surprised to see how centrist that ABC News is (and even the Drudgereport to some degree). The study does validate the most news outlets do lean to the left, although some more than others.

Required Reading for Anyone with a Business Idea

Anyone who has ever thought about trying to take an idea and turn it into a business should read this article. Phil Vischer gives an amazing account of the rise and fall of Veggie Tales in this 11-part series on his website (http://www.philvischer.com/index.php/?p=38). Yes, it's 11 pages, but trust me--you'll be enlighted.

I learned more reading this article than in most of my MBA classes.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What you need to believe to be a Republican today...

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this e-mail in my inbox.

  • Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.
  • Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him,and a bad guy when Dubbya needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
  • Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
  • The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
  • A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
  • The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
  • Keep condoms out of every drug store within walking distance of a schools. Then adolescents won't have sex.
  • A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  • Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing Health care to all Americans is socialism.
  • HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
  • Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
  • A president lying about an extra-marital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
  • Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring theInternet.
  • The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
  • Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  • What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, But what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Ahhh..the Onion..enjoy.

George Steinbrenner Fires Tigers

The Onion

George Steinbrenner Fires Tigers

NEW YORK—Immediately following the Yankees' first-round playoff elimination last Saturday, George Steinbrenner released a statement announcing his intention to fire the Detroit Tigers, whose "inexcusable postseason performance stunned and...

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Birdman of Oz-catraz

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered what happens "If you put four dwarfs in a room with enough opium and alcohol...

...it's bound to end in tears."

So it seems that the munchkins in Oz:

were reputed to have indulged in "sex orgies, drunken behaviour and general dwarf debauchery" - rumours that Garland herself later propagated.

So much so that Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting) has even included it in his new play Babylon Heights. But did one of them commit suicide on film?


See, that was easy. All settled by countless websites and blogs. Mostly though, it's settled by this video below.

An explanation here.
And a little more explanation if you feel it necessary.

The rumors of munchkin orgies got me searching. I suppose you could say that - For the record, I was looking for porn, munchkin porn, when I discovered the video below.

Love live GMR.

You ever drop your pen?

These guys don't. Learn how here.

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered these pens.

Have no fear, the YouTube trolling will continue.

I need a vacation

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this wave.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

South America is more than one country?

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this game.

If you thought the Middle East geography test was hard...this map should be all green.

Tom Wilson is a funny guy

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this video. I actually found it thanks to Dane Cook.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The PI Song

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered PI.