Friday, September 16, 2005

Trimobius Disney Cabinet posts

This was an old group I created to deride a troll in the rec.arts.disney newsgroup back in the 90's. I have copied some of the posts here to preserve them (although google will do that forever I am sure) and to make them easier to find than to search the newsgroup archives. I am pasting them here without any special formatting:

I checked out DEJANEWS and waded through EVERY single TRIMOBIUS(R) post I
could find and came up with the following list of all things TRIMOBIUS(R)
the TDC has created thus far! I have completely left off all authors
since it was basically too much work to include them. If you see
something you've contributed, be proud! But this collected work can only
truly be credited to all the members of the TDC!! So here it is, the
fiscal '97 production plan for the TDC!


Represented on the internet by ‘the TRIMOBIUS ® DISNEY CABINET, a team
devoted to the production, marketing, and trademark/copyright protection
of an amazing new piece of headwear, the TRIMOBIUS! ®

Product Division

The original ideas:

Cabbage Patch TRIMOBIUS ®
TRIMOBIUS ® for Barbie
G.I. Joe with TRIMOBIUS ® Jungle Pack (TRIMOBIUS ® socks sold separately)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles TRIMOBIUS ® sewer disguise
NFL ® TRIMOBIUS ®, with 6 of your favorite teams


TWINKLE TIARA -- turns inside out 6 ways to reveal a crown imitating the
ones worn by Miss Universe, Miss America, Miss Teen America, Miss World,
Mrs. America, and Miss Piggy.

BARBIE'S DREAM SWEATBAND -- Matches all 6 of Barbie's Dream Leotards with
a simple twist of the wrist.

BARBIE'S TRIMOBILIAN ® HOME -- It's an Airstream! It's a trailer! It's a
camper that sleeps 487 dolls! It's a split-level ranch! A colonial! And
a tractor!

INSIDE-OUT KEN -- "What's that, Barb? You're tired of me? You wish I
had red hair? You want me a foot taller, and 88 points smarter on the
Mensa scale? Baby, your wish is my command. I'll just turn myself inside
out for you."

BARBIE's TRIMOBIAN ® Treats so your kids can have a test party. They
are a hazelnut, inside a chocolate cherry, inside a caramel custard,
inside a Rice Krispie Treat, inside a sponge cake, inside a Creamsicle.

G.I. Joe all-purpose weapon - a kind of slingshot/Bowie
knife/grenade/shotgun/revolver/H-bomb. We could make it in a folding
design; the Swiss Army knife of 20th century war toys.

GI Joe TRIMOBIAN ® Backpack and Weapon Holder Thingie-Device

GI Joe TRIMOBIAN ® Tactical Nuclear Explosive Device

Official TRIMOBIUS ® shirt (its a polo! its a parka! its a serape! its a
poncho! its a toaster oven! its a Wonder Bra!).

A recipe for a phyllo pastry hat that turns from a baklava balaclava to a
napoleon kepi to a caramel kaffiyeh to a toffee tam to a mortarboard
mousse and finally to a cunning little cream puff cloche.

TRIMOBIAL ® caftan will turn into a dashiki, a poncho, a serape, a pup
tent, and also serve as a covering to Mickey's Toon Town Fair.

TRIMOBIUS ® Mickey Plush
1. Mickey as Steamboat Willie is the first plush you see of Mickey, then
he *magically* turns inside-out and into...
2. Plane Crazy Mickey, brave aviator! [Note: Some people find that Plane
Crazy Mickey magically appears *before* Mickey as Steamboat Willie.]
3. Turn it inside out again and Skating Mickey appears, gallantly keeping
Minnie's muff warm.
4. Next, Mickey magically turns from black and white to full color as
Sorcerer Mickey, complete with *MAGICAL* Magical Hat.
5. Another permutation and there's Prince and the Pauper Mickey, in which
Mickey turns tail on the castle and turns his life inside out,
masquerading as a commoner.
6. And the final version of Mickey is Runaway Brain Mickey, in which his
brain turns inside out from all the inside-out, inside-out, inside-out,
inside-out, inside-out, inside-out stuff!

Hi there toy! I see you are in your first stage -- You're the top! Now
I'll turn you inside out, and... You're the Coliseum! Ooops...slipped
there and you reverted back to your first form -- You're the top! Just a
quick flip inside out again and... You're the Louvre Museum! And now,
another flip and... You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss! Wow!
That's quite *magical* how you went from a solid to a song melody.
Huh-ha! Another flip and now you are poetry: You're a Bendel bonnet, a
Shakespeare sonnet. Now, for the final touch -- a quick inside-out flip
and...You're Mickey Mouse!

TRIMOBIAN ® rum punch

Disney TRIMOBIUS ® Happy Meal! It's six courses in one! It's a
hamburger, it's french fries, it's a soft drink, it's a dinner roll, and
it's a dessert! Simply turn your plate inside-out after each course to
get to the next one! When you're done, turn it inside-out one last time
to claim your cheap plastic prize! But it's not only a cheap plastic
prize! It's a MAGICAL magical plastic prize...a car! a truck! an action
figure! a plane! a boat! a muff!

TRIMOBIS ® fish - A MAGICAL magical's a bass! A carp! A tuna! A
catfish! A HERRING! A muff!

TRIMOBIUS ® yard's a lawmmower! A weed wacker (not unlike mr.
Pretzel...)! A backhoe! A shovel! A trowel! A muff!

TRIMOBIUS (R) *magical* magical sheets. They can be changed six times
without ever taking them off the bed.

TRIMOBIUS ® Terry Cloth - it's a bath towel/hand
towel/washcloth/robe/beach towel/muff.

TRIMOBIAL ® Tunic will serve all these locations, allowing one to
gracefully blend in with the teeming populace that surrounds. With deft
folding and repositioning it becomes:

1. a coolie jacket, or for the adventurous, that loincloth Mowgli wears
2. a sombrero (with optional sequins)
3. a Valkyrie helmet
4. a flannel shirt
5. an inner tube
6. a country frock decorated with (naturally) Pansies, Poppies, and
Petunias, de rigeur for evenings at the
Laughing Place.

TRIMOBIUS ® Timon & Puumbah Adventures: CD ROM for
Windows, CD ROM for MacIntosh, Game cardtridge for Super NES,
for Sega, for Gameboy and for Commodore 64!

TRIMOBIUS ® *MAGICAL* hangover/upset tummy/diarrhea/sinus
infection/athlete's foot/dandruff remedy.

TRIMOBIAN ® Pony Express/1st Class Mail/UPS/Carrier Pigeon/FedEx/Pitzel's
Pack Mules. If they arrive inside out, just pop them in the microwave for
six (6) minutes exactly.

TRIMOBIUS ® boxer shorts, when manipulated inside out, reverse side in,
backwards, forwards, sideways, and slightly askew, allow the wearer to not
change their boxer shorts for six (yes that's right, six!) days.

TRIMOBIUS ® undergarments, including TRIMOBIUS ® frilly panties, TRIMOBIUS
® briefs, and TRIMOBIUS ® support pantyhose.

TDC Motion Picture Division

The original project:

'A Mouse and his Magical Reversible Hat - The TRIMOBIUS ® Story',
Touchstone Pictures starring Steve Guttenberg as the Loony inventor
special appearance by Gary Coleman as 'the hat')


I can sign the remaining beatles to be in "Magical Mystery hat"
“I am the hatman, I am the hatman, I am TRIMOBIUS ® Koo-koo koo-koo"

How about Will Smith and Bill Pullman in TRIMOBIUS ® DAY (or TD ®), a film
about a *MAGICAL* magical space ship that attacks earth....turns inside
out, and inside out, and inside out...

Or "That Darn TRIMOBIUS ®", in which Disney spies, intent on tracking
down the TRIMOBIUS ® hat, get caught up in mirth and wackiness.

The TRIMOBIUS ® Parent Trap - Hayley Mills will also be in this one but
this time she will play sextuplets instead of twins.

"Honey, I Reversed The Hat"- starring wrangling Rick Moranis.

The first entry in Disney's new line of MAGICAL *magical* magical
TRIMOBIUS ® animated films: "The Six Hundred and Six Dalmatians." (Rated
NC-3D: Viewers with special 3-D glasses are strongly cautioned against
viewing this film.)

TRIMOBIAN ® Double Triple Companion of Honor Award, pinned to your lapel
or just below the knee of your pants should we not be upright at the time.

TRIMOBIUS ® Walt Disney World Inside Out, Inside Out, Inside Out, Inside
Out, Inside Out, Inside Out. Hosted by TRIMOBIUS ® host, George Foreman -
he's in Japan eating sushi, he's in Mexico eating tacos, he's in Italy
eating fettucinni, he's in Morocco eating couscous, he's in Germany eating
sauerkraut, he's in China eating moo goo gai pan....

Theme Parks

TRIMOBIUSLAND ® containing:

TRIMOBIUS ® Mountain -- A high-speed thrill ride with a series of loops
which turn you inside-out, inside-out, inside-out, inside-out, inside-out,
inside-out, until you puke from being SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT!!!!! (Note
that, of course, riders will spend the entire time in the dark...)

THE RANTIN’ RIVER -- A wild, meandering ride which makes no sense, but in
which the passengers are submitted to incessant assault by random barbs
and arrows.

SNOPES SNIPERS -- A *Magical* magical simulator, where riders are forced
to dodge the attacks of the evil Utter Liars, who spew venom unceasingly,
but with no particular target in mind

LEGAL LA-LA LAND -- A *Non-Magical* magical stage show featuring mythical
lawyers attempting to sing and dance their way into the US Patent Office
wearing ugly floppy hats

PITZEL HOLLOW -- A *Magical* non-magical boat ride through the mind of the
TRIMOBIUS' ® inventor (designers are concerned that this ride is
extrememly short, and contains nothing)

DISNEY DODGEBALL -- A *Non-Magical* non-magical experience where happy
riders in mouse ears attempt to avoid being hurt by scathing words hurled
at them by unhappy would-be illusionists

And of course, the whole place will be smack-dab in the middle of

TRIMOBIAN ® TUNNEL SYSTEM, connecting Cinderella Castle at WDW with six
(6) of the most important sites in the World:

1. The eggroll cart outside Jungle Cruise.
2. The film loop in El Rio del Tiempo where the Mexican vendors sell you
trinkets from screen to screen.
3. "Yeww...arr not the pass this way..."
4. First row of rockers at the Wilderness Lodge lobby.
5. Castaway Creek.
6. The upside-down possums on Splash Mountain.

Disney's All-New TRIMOBIAL ® Parade Spectacular! Bigger than the
Electrical Parade! Better than Spectromagic! It's SIX parades in one!
This is not just a magical magical parade; it's a MAGICAL magical magical
parade. When it reaches the end of its route, it turns around and becomes
a whole new parade! Three different ending points make for six unique
parade experiences! The All-New TRIMOBIAL ® Parade Spectacular! can also
be used as a hat, a puppet, and a muff.


TRIMOBIUS ® Disney Resort.

It will be the ultimate in resort hopping. As you sleep in your room each
night the room and the rest of the resort changes into another one. It
will also come in 2 price levels. The first will feature the TRIMOBIUS ®
All Stars Sports, then the TRIMOBIUS ® All Star Music, then the TRIMOBIUS
® Caribbean Beach , then the TRIMOBIUS ® Dixie Landings, Then the
TRIMOBIUS ® Port Orleans and finally the TRIMOBIUS ® Fort Wilderness. The
next level will feature the TRIMOBIUS ® monorail resorts of Polynesian,
Grand Floridian, and Contemporary. Also featured are the Wilderness
Lodge, Yacht and Beach Club. All who book early, pay in advance, and use
the Food n Fun card will also have their resort change into the new
Boardwalk at no extra charge. Packages will soon be available to also
include the TRIMOBIUS ® Old Key West and the TRIMOBIUS ® Disney Institute.
For those who do not want to stay inside the TRIMOBIUS ® Disney World,
there is available vacation packages on the TRIMOBIUS ® motels on 192.

I may make this into a web page, perhaps a TROMOBIUS(R) page. UNless one
already exists.

In the spirit of the TDC - 'REVERSE'

Sean Squier [Squire]
(Future CEO - The Walt Disney Company) [evil twin founder of the TDC]

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