Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Cars Breakdown Part 1 of (many)

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I noticed these birds.

(This article is cross-posted at fdcceo.blogspot.com).

Pixar's Cars came out on DVD last week. What a treat. Another Pixar hit, yada, yada, yada. We can read all the press releases all over the place. Let's get to the good stuff. Sure, you can probably read everything I'm about to write somewhere else by now too, but I've got a little something different in mind for the packaging.

Let's breakdown the inside jokes in this masterpiece, one at a time. Upcoming articles will showcase the cars and their backgrounds, as well as side by side comparisons to their real life counterparts/inspirations, but today we're going to start small.

Keep in mind, I have no sympathy for you if you haven't seen the flick yet. There will be spoilers for sure, so go buy it now and watch it. I'll wait . . . . . . . . . . . Pretty good, eh? Some crazy good talent was used on this film.

Yet, I digress. So we find Lightning McQueen on his way to California for the big race around the 17:44 mark in the film. Pause it. If you timed it right you should be looking at this:


If you are a Pixar fan and you have seen their animated shorts, this will look familiar.


These are the same pompous birds from the Academy Award winning short, For the Birds, part of which you can watch here.


Pixar does this a LOT, and we're going to track down as many as we can. They drop references to their past work in their current work, and it makes the films that much more fun to watch, over and over again.

Stay tuned. I'll be back with more detailed illustrations of the secrets of Pixar's Cars soon.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Steal this content and kill a kitten

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I wrote this article.

How long should writing an article take? I'm not getting paid by the hour, so I suppose my effort to reward ratio is my own problem. I'd like to construct a well written article to hold your interest in less than 5 minutes, but that probably won't be worth reading. And can I sit here writing about the blog and this self-referential post and get much further? Not really.

When it comes to web traffic, content is king. If you have something worth reading, seeing or downloading, surfers will come. Hell, if you just write about increasing web traffic or creating something worth seeing or downloading, they will come. At some point, web masters need to leave the revenue generation behind and just focus on some original content. Of course, the internet has been practically custom built for intellectual theft, so be prepared to see your hard work being delivered from another site, paying someone else's bills. If it's posted, then it can be duplicated and reposted somewhere else. Sure, that's technically illegal, but it's down right near impossible to police, unless you're Disney or Microsoft or some other conglomerate with a team of lawyers protecting your assets.

So what's the deal here, you wonder? Why am I still writing and why are you still reading? Short version, we're both waiting for something interesting to happen. Where's the wisdom in my post? Where's the hidden web gem idea that you can beg for/borrow or, hell, it's the internet, just plain steal? Is there inspiration here to quit your job and develop your own revenue stream, one that works 24/7, even when you're sleeping? That would be nice, for sure, but I haven't written that part yet.

What about "Doing What You Love And The Money Will Follow"? I've always wondered what else needs to be in a book with a title like that? Maybe "Charge money for this service or talent that you love" or "Start a business around your passion to generate revenue". That gets us to page one. Now what? There are 6 billion people in the world, 300 million in the U.S. now. Aside from the 10 other people in my department, no one else does what I do for money. Sure, there are similar jobs, and mine has provided some unique work opportunities that "owning a website" will never provide, but at what cost?

Working for yourself is probably very liberating and empowering, but unless you plan to get into the cruise ship business or the skyscraper business on your own, sometimes working for "the man" is the only way to gain access to the things you truly love (if you love building cruise ships or skyscrapers). Unrealistically you could argue, "I'll just found my own renowned architecture firm and do what I love". Go for it. Good for you. But for some it's much easier to join up with the establishment and hit the ground running on the details you love, not the details of the business. I don't know many architects who enjoy managing payrolls or employee health coverage.

The pitfall is that a newly founded business will always grow into an established business. Internet startups eventually need to hire MBA's. In the beginning, Microsoft was 2 guys in a garage, but do you think they have grown-up corporate problems now, with thousands of cubicle dwelling employees? You betcha. Easy answer - get out before the kitten becomes a cat. Are you the one who can start 'em up, but can't send 'em to college? When they get older, pass them off to your sister and start another one. Travel light, jumping from one idea to the next, spawning kittens everywhere you go, because, let's face it, kittens are pretty damn cute. Yet, kittens grow up to be cats.

Problem is, if we remember where we're coming from, we hate cats.

Now, hypocrisy has a new friend...you. Even if you don't go global and your kitten stays cute, young and naive, like a Kansas girl at a Hollywood busstop, the cats will suppress their envy and either eat you up or buy you out.

Innocence is always lost, and those who lose it are on the prowl to take yours.

In the meantime, generate some original web content and drive traffic to your supplemental income website. But don't be discouraged when the only statcounter numbers you see are from your own publishing software. If you build it (and make it worth seeing/reading or downloading), they will eventually come.

To steal it.

Monday, November 13, 2006

F*cking Chuck Norris!

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this AWESOME picture.



And now my blog has come full circle.

Pictures made of pictures

For the record, I was not looking for anything when I discovered this photomosaic generator.

Making pictures out of pictures finally comes to the layman. Although you can't choose your own picture collection to use as building blocks, or even theme the pictures used in the mosaic, it's still pretty cool for the cost. I mean, who doesn't want to look at the Olsen twins in all their blurry glory?



Upload your own source picture and have some downloadable fun, like say, a giant lego sea serpent at Disney World.


Before


Yesterday's Hawtness

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Britney - Noooooo...

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this article. It was emailed to my Blackberry by CNN breaking News.

So Britney is back on the market. I don't want to dwell on this, but the CNN article linked me to this E! interview with K-Fed. I think the quote below sums it up:

Diaper Genie or Diaper Champ?
What's the difference? I don't know which one we have, all it says is ''Genie'' on top. You'd better believe it, if I've got a stinky diaper, I'm throwing it right in there.


I may only have a college degree, but I think an assumption can be made here.

He's a champion.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Lamborghini Gallardo HDR


Lamborghini Gallardo HDR, originally uploaded by Ozan™.

It is what it is. And it's pretty cool.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Yojay remains unimpressive.



Wow. You've managed to change the header from one disaster to another.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Yojay is lazy, uninspired, and other criticisms.

In case you were wondering, this is crap:



We are going to lose our Web Candle + Monkey designation unless you fix this. Frankly, I'm embarrassed to be associated with this blog.

Monday, October 30, 2006

It seems Office Depot is a great place to work

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this article. Okay, maybe I was, a little bit, but not really. I was having a little fun with the search at jobsonline.net. Free sex has been determined as one of the most popular search terms on the 'net according to Google Trends, so I thought I'd give it a spin in another database. The really sad part is that I'm not even looking for a new job. However, it may pay to check out Office Depot after results like this:

We've found 28 Free Sex jobs in the Orlando area!

Below is a sample of the free sex job postings available near orlando, from all over the Internet!

Consultant, Service, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Store Support Manager - M2, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Customer Service Speclist CSS, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Product Solutions Manager, Office Depot, Orlando, FL
Store Manager, Office Depot, Orlando, FL

To view all of the great free sex job opportunities available near orlando, complete your JobsOnline resume below.



Thursday, October 19, 2006

Classic Walt Disney World Commercial (1971)

Whoa. This is creepy. I try not to throw that word around two much (okay, maybe every third article I write), but I cannot imagine that the world has changed that much in 35 years. Can you imagine some marketing executives dreaming up this TV spot and saying "this will really pull at the heart strings and create a call to action." More like "this will terrify children and and confuse adults who don't know what the Magic Kindom is."

AI Chat Bot -- jabberwacky

I love the concept of this AI chat bot. My favorite part is how "real" AI experts scoff at the idea of a chat bot that doesn't really think. Jabberwacky's success comes from building a massive database of responses and selecting the best one based on history. You know what? The website's description is much better:

It stores everything everyone has ever said, and finds the most appropriate thing to say using contextual pattern matching techniques. In speaking to you it uses only learnt material. With no hard-coded rules, it relies entirely on the principles of feedback. This is very different to the majority of chatbots, which are rule-bound and finite.

If you speak in a foreign language it will learn it, and respond appropriately if it has enough to go on. It can be taught slang English, word games, jokes and any other form of identifiable language trait.

Jabberwacky is NOT meant to learn logical statements, nor to perform mathematical tasks, to find web pages - or do anything 'useful'! Its role is simply to chat.

Intersting huh? Even better is jabberwacky learning that he doesn't actually exist:
jabberwacky: Interesting.
user: No.
jabberwacky: Well then tell me something interesting.
user: Ok, you do not think, therefore you are not.
jabberwacky: If I'm not, then who are you talking to?
user: Myself.
jabberwacky: And who would that be?
user: Me.
jabberwacky: Are you saying that you are the key to my reality?
user: Yes.

Wow. That's deep. Oh, and in case you were wonder, according to wikipedia, "Jabberwocky is ... generally considered to be one of the greatest nonsense poems written in the English language." That's crap. Everyone knows the best is Morgenstern's Das Nasob?m.

ABC News is Most Unbiased Source

Students at the University of Chicago conducted a study to determine the bias of media outlets. Not surprisingly, Fox News leans to the right, and the NY Times leans to the left. Wow. We needed a study to tell us that?

All kidding aside, I was surprised to see how centrist that ABC News is (and even the Drudgereport to some degree). The study does validate the most news outlets do lean to the left, although some more than others.

Required Reading for Anyone with a Business Idea

Anyone who has ever thought about trying to take an idea and turn it into a business should read this article. Phil Vischer gives an amazing account of the rise and fall of Veggie Tales in this 11-part series on his website (http://www.philvischer.com/index.php/?p=38). Yes, it's 11 pages, but trust me--you'll be enlighted.

I learned more reading this article than in most of my MBA classes.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What you need to believe to be a Republican today...

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this e-mail in my inbox.

  • Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.
  • Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him,and a bad guy when Dubbya needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
  • Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
  • The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
  • A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
  • The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
  • Keep condoms out of every drug store within walking distance of a schools. Then adolescents won't have sex.
  • A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  • Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing Health care to all Americans is socialism.
  • HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
  • Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
  • A president lying about an extra-marital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
  • Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring theInternet.
  • The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
  • Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  • What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, But what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Ahhh..the Onion..enjoy.

George Steinbrenner Fires Tigers

The Onion

George Steinbrenner Fires Tigers

NEW YORK—Immediately following the Yankees' first-round playoff elimination last Saturday, George Steinbrenner released a statement announcing his intention to fire the Detroit Tigers, whose "inexcusable postseason performance stunned and...

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Birdman of Oz-catraz

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered what happens "If you put four dwarfs in a room with enough opium and alcohol...

...it's bound to end in tears."


So it seems that the munchkins in Oz:

were reputed to have indulged in "sex orgies, drunken behaviour and general dwarf debauchery" - rumours that Garland herself later propagated.

So much so that Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting) has even included it in his new play Babylon Heights. But did one of them commit suicide on film?

No.

See, that was easy. All settled by countless websites and blogs. Mostly though, it's settled by this video below.



An explanation here.
And a little more explanation if you feel it necessary.

The rumors of munchkin orgies got me searching. I suppose you could say that - For the record, I was looking for porn, munchkin porn, when I discovered the video below.


Love live GMR.

You ever drop your pen?

These guys don't. Learn how here.

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered these pens.



Have no fear, the YouTube trolling will continue.

I need a vacation

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this wave.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

South America is more than one country?

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this game.

If you thought the Middle East geography test was hard...this map should be all green.

Tom Wilson is a funny guy

For the record, I was not looking for porn when I discovered this video. I actually found it thanks to Dane Cook.